Monday, November 18, 2013

Autism is Recognizing the Increasing Entropy of the Universe

Written by and originally published at Nornwen

This is what autism is for me, it may be different for other autistic people.
Autism is when I win hide-and-seek in the dark because of my ability to feel and hear my way through the dark.
Autism is when I discover I am great at math in my senior year after getting straight A’s on all of my calculus tests, getting a six on my IB test, and being awarded top of my graduating class in mathematics.
Autism is preventing my youth group from having to do fractioned shovel-fulls by instead recommending they do fractioned bucket-fulls when we built a house in Mexico.
Autism is the logical order of my writing, that when read comes out shaky but is very understood.
Autism is being able to pick out others like me in a crowd, including those who feel alone, bullied, or nervous. Autism is making friends with those people and discovering the kindness and compassion in them the world could not see.
Autism is not easily being swayed by charisma or pathos (appeal to emotion) and being able to see logical fallacies quite easily, even if I can’t name them.
Autism is never, ever feeling the need to conform. Honestly, I feel privileged.
Autism is being honest and fair in all your interactions, even if people are so blinded by your lack of “soft skills” that they don’t see it. And they especially don’t see how this comes from a place of empathy and compassion.
Autism is being able to recognize unfairness and injustice in the world from a young age. It is being able to see seperation and segregation. It is being able to see imbalance.
Autism is fixing a cabinet.
Autism is being able to relate well to animals because of your heightened senses. Autism is knowing how to be gentle and how to respect both animals and humans space.
Autism is listening a little bit longer then most people, it is finding out what a person is trying to communicate in their style because you would want someone to extend the same kindness to you.
Autism is letting go of a lot of preconceived notions to make way for new thought.
Autism is simultaneously feeling like you have no friends and like everyone is your friend.
Autism is thinking people make fun of Spock and Sheldon on their shows to much, though not many people see it.
Autism is feeling your emotions and logic never clashed, that emotions do make sense logically, and that logic is emotional. However, the rest of world thinks this is not true and feel you either have to choose your head or your heart. I feel you are strongest when you use them together.
Autism is the love of observation, where almost everything is a scientific study. Autism is using the scientific method unknowingly to explain everything.
Autism is when NTs have to listen to the second part of your sentence or they might get offended, and when they do listen they are like “Oh, that makes perfect sense.”
Autism is understanding how nature noises at equal volume to city noises is more relaxing, and knowing how the sound is more pure and ordered. (Seriously, there is a study about this.)
Autism is recognizing the increasing entropy of the universe.
This is autism, this is me.

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